I was going to do a blog on how to change a diaper while drinking a beer, doing a handstand, and wearing a skirt. But, I realized what a cool video that would be. I could be the next YouTube sensation. Millions of people would be impressed by my amazing talents. I would be rich.
Then FlyNavy pointed out that I was male, and real men don't wear skirts. I was going to change the skirt to an apron. Like the ones that guys grill in or chefs wear. But, I don't have one. As a matter of fact. I have never seen a guy grilling in one in real life, not in a restaurant, and not on TV.
MaeMae suggested I wear a kilt. It would be fitting to my Irish/Scottish heritage. I have a right to wear a kilt, I thought. And I would, if I had one. It seems as the only thing I actually had was one of my wife's skirts. What if she saw me?.... awkward!
Then it occurred to me, if I was doing all those things, how was I going to hold the camera? I don't have a tripod. I really think I do, it just got lost in the move 2 years ago. You can't lay the camera on the floor an catch something so "spectacular" as that. And that whole books on a table thing only works for family photos.
I really had to start looking at all the other variables...
1. The only diaper wearing child I have is my almost 2 year old that would only sit still for me if I hit him with an elephant tranquilizer.
2. I could actually spill the beer. Nuff said.
3. A handstand...... maybe if a crane had me by the ankles. (If you believe my body really looks like the pictures to the right, I have two words for you...... photo shop)
4. I am not buying an apron or kilt just to do a video. These are rough economic times people. I can only afford a thong. Kind of an awkward place to put "Kiss the Cook".
So really, I cannot deliver the "awesome feat" that I wanted to, at this present time. Maybe I will start a diaper, beer, handstand, apron training regiment soon. Don't be too surprised when that picture shows up on the blog.
A man can dream, can't he?
P.S. Didn't think I would actually do a blog about that stuff, did you. Well, me neither. Oh, always making me mother proud.