Monday, August 24, 2009

From a Galaxy Far Far Away.....

OK, I don't have much time..... Aliens have abducted me and I am in their ship. They consider me a perfect human specimen. I don't know what they are planning, but they feed me well. Very well, I am putting on weight like crazy!!! Which is weird, because we are in outer space. I should be weightless!!

Let June know I am in the 4th quadrant of the something or another galaxy. Tell her I have my Genuine Star Trek Communicator but I think the batteries are low, it doesn't work at all. She can find me that way I hope. And have her call NASA, Buck Rogers, and Luke Skywalker and come get me.

Don't get me wrong, they seem very nice to me. I think we are close to our destination, they keep talking how I am the guest of honor at the Captains feast. I ask what we are having and they just laugh. I bet I won't like it!!

Well, I hope that sheds some light on where I have been. I have to go now I think I hear Shleplar coming.

Bye! Get June!!

Your Cousin,

P.S. Or I have just been "summer" busy. Be back in full swing soon.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Bean Spilling

In the light of previous comments I have decided to spill all the beans.......just to get it all in the open. Cousin Steve style of course.

I have never made out with a manatee.

One of my legs is shorter than the other.

I wear contacts, and not the colored ones. Blind as a bat without them.

I like Pina Colada's and getting caught in the rain.

I enjoyed testing the "cat's always land on their feet" theory with our cat Louie, as a kid. Poor Louie. That's why he would come and bite me on my head in the middle of the night.

I think that stop signs with white borders are optional.

When I was 14, I told my mom that I broke my arm when I accidentally fell of my bike. When I really broke it doing something stupid on my bike.

I rode and elephant once, bare back.

One time when my parents were out of town and I was 20. They called to check in on me. I told them I was having a kegger party in their house. Mom laughed so hard she couldn't talk and handed the phone to my dad. I told him also. He didn't believe me either. They both were laughing now. Then dad said in a joking voice "Well, have a good time at your KEGGER". I said "I will" and hung up the phone and finished tapping the keg. We went through two kegs that night. A couple years ago I was talking with my parents, and since I was now married with two kids and a mortgage, I came clean on quite a few things. I figured, what, are they going to ground me?? I said "Remember when you guys were in New Orleans and I said I was having a kegger party in your house.....". The truth will set you free.

I once swam in Lake Michigan in downtown Chicago in a tux. Pissed of the limo driver.

I participated in senior ditch day on my sophomore, junior and senior years. I couldn't help it. You cannot watch a movie like Ferris Bueller's Day Off and not want to reenact it. I live just outside of Chicago for crying out loud. All we needed was a Ferrari.

I didn't start smoking until I was 20. I have been smoke free for two years now. Quiting IS one of great accomplishments.

I almost got in trouble by park rangers as a teenager one night. We had a huge bonfire at the beach. There was over a hundred from my high school. The southern sandy shores of Lake Michigan are awesome for bonfires. Park rangers came running out from all directions. We scattered like cockroaches. I guess I just ran faster than most. Due to fear, I bet I could have set some Olympic records for sprinting across sand that night.

I have never been in a hot air balloon. But want to.

June is not in outer space......... yet.

I believe, "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything."

Till next time....... live. I do.

Your Cousin,