Saturday, February 28, 2009

Win A Weekend With June

I did some deep down and dirty house cleaning today. I had to. I have the one and only June staying at my house next weekend. Do you have any idea what kind of pressure that is. I read her blog. She cleans her house every day, sometimes twice a day. Of course that's because my sweet little cousins tear apart her house like it's a Chuck E Cheese. But, she does it.

Sometimes I tend to look to far into things or expect too much out of situations. I thought that when I entered the "Win A Weekend With June" sweepstakes that I was going somewhere, not June coming here. I never did see the results or come to think of it, I never saw a blog about it. She sent me an e-mail, I entered. Then she e-mailed me again later to say that I had won. As I read it, I was fist pumping and screaming out a couple "Woo Hooos".

Anyways, I am really looking forward to her coming back to her old stomping grounds. I made sure not to fill the weekend with too many activities. Who am I kidding? I have everything planned down to the minute. It goes something like this...

8PM - 9PM pick up from airport
9PM-12AM drink alcohol

12AM - 2AM drink more, reminisce and joke telling, possibly vomit
2AM - 7 AM sleep
7AM - 8AM clean up mess from night before
8AM - 10AM try to get mysterious stain out of living room carpet
10AM - 11AM buy more alcohol
11AM - 2PM drink a liquid lunch
2PM - 4PM take a nap
4PM - 10PM enjoy family party (drink)
10PM - 12AM drink more, reminisce and joke telling, possibly vomit again

12AM - 6AM sleep
6AM - 7AM sleep some more after taking a pee
7AM - 9AM get food get showered and ready for church
9AM - 10AM church
10AM - 11AM go visit dad
11AM - 1PM nap
1PM - 3PM visit with family
3PM - 4PM head back to airport dehydrated and with a headache

Does that sound like a relaxing weekend or what?? I'll bet she can't wait. I'll tell her to pack her spare liver and a hangover remedy. Because she is my cousin, I will let her borrow the "good" sleeping bag to sleep in the garage. It gets mighty cold out there. I'm just kidding. I couldn't be that mean. I am shocked at you people. I'm going to let her sleep in the crawl space. I'm not a heartless guy.

No matter what we do, I can guarantee we will have a great weekend. And I can also guarantee you will hear about it.


june cleaver said...

Uhm... I don't see "Trip to White Castle for 40 sliders-20 with extra O and 20 with extra M" on your list anywhere.

Anonymous said...

You better squeeze in a trip to the White Castle...I hear sliders go good with beer!
Oh, and count us in on the party!
Aunt Barbara

chestertonian said...

So how did it go with June? I don't see any after-action reports.

Something like, "Following week: endure sullen stares from wife because of the all-night, all-day drinking; all the empties; and the mysterious stain on the carpet."