Update

OK, I am jumping in to make an update.

June = OK

Katie = Not so OK

I have two reasons why June is AWOL. One is true the other is not, I will let you decide.

Reason 1.

June is at NASA. She was invited there to do some top secret blogging swoon thing from space. Totally designed to get middle eastern women to start showing more ankle. In return, that is expected to drive the middle eastern men crazy. Therefore, making them lovers and not fighters. Ending all fighting.
She has been training hard and it is taking a toll on her. One day, after a severe day of training, she logged on to blog (she loves you guys) and accidentally hit the wrong button. I am still not sure why Blogger put the "lock out blog" button next to the "post blog" button. Kind of seems stupid to me.

How I know this is, I called a favor in to some CIA buddies of mine and they set up a direct link through the super secret IASFOC network. I am sure that most of you have never heard of that network..... there is a reason for that. It's super secret. But she sounds good, and she is learning how to use the super powers they implanted in her.

Oh, crap.

I wasn't supposed to say anything about her super powers. NASA is going to be pissed. Oh, well. It's not like I can erase everything I say......

I will say that, very soon, she will be able to type 3700 words a minute. Currently she is 2900.

Amazing, just amazing.

Or..... reason 2

She is moving, and she has 4 kids (some in sports), and it's summer. So pretty much, she is busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. She is on a much needed blog break. Every other time she tried to take a break, she felt guilty.
She is picking out paint colors, packing, and enjoying her kids. It's allllll good.

Good luck on picking the real reason...........

As for my sister Katie, she still needs prayers. She is still in the hospital (since May 31st). She is not doing well right now, but they say the prognosis is good. It's hard to believe that when things keep happening. She has been on a ventilator and in the intensive care unit since Thursday.

I always thought that going to intensive care was a bad thing...

We keep hope and we pray. And have become very familiar with hospital cafeteria food. Not so good. I must have confidence that the doctors at UIC Hospital know what they are doing.

Well, that's the updates. The good and the bad.

That's all for now. I have to jump in the shower and get back up to the hospital. Never enough time in a day.

Your Cousin

Steve

Ummmmm... June?

It has been brought to my attention REPEATEDLY that my cousin June is "off the air". I can sense the hormones raging in desperate need of a Monday Swoon. Don't look at me, I am a man. And a real man, of course, would not post scantily clad pictures of other men on his blog. I am one of those men.

I am so "real man" ish...

that I channel thoughts from Charles Heston to the NRA regularly.

that I got a paper cut and axle grease came out.

that I once shot myself in the stomach because it growled at me.

that... ahh never mind. You get the picture.

Back to June's blog.

I have no idea what is going on. I have not talked to June in a couple of weeks. I'll bet, she might be doing a hot yoga workout marathon. She's crazy enough to do it. I swear she is. 4 days straight. A World Record attempt, I'm sure. She will be recovering for weeks from a hospital bed. Poor, poor June.

But, seriously. I'm on it.

Cousin Steve OUT!!

Pray for Katie

I'm sure you figured that I'm on a break. My sister has fallen ill and she is in the hospital. She has MS and this time it threw her to the ground. She is having a very rough time. She has been in for 10 days now.

Pray for her.

I'll be back soon.

Cousin Steve

What's With the Fridge?

People have an obsession with refrigerators. I don't know why, they just do. Not even when my truck was brand new, did it get it as much attention as it did with a fridge in the bed.

It all started last week when my mom called me to ask "What temperatures is your fridge supposed to be at?" Like I'm some sort of encyclopedia. Well. Most of the time I am. But this time, I didn't know, so I said, "One side should be cold, and one side should be colder."

I mean, that's it's job. It's sole purpose. Freeze and cool the food. Right? Remember that.

Mom didn't find my comment to be as funny as I did. She wanted numbers.

I reached down deep, into my small little mind and pulled out...."Fridge side 35 F to 40 F, and freezer side 0 F or colder." I didn't really know. I used the good 'ol reliable Internet. I love high speed Internet. She never knew.

She does now.

Hi Mom!!

Anyways...

It was apparent that something was wrong with the unit. Finally, Friday had come, and it was falling off it's last legs. Time for "Steve To The Rescue!!!" I picked up a refrigerator and headed to Mom's. She was happy.

Then, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, Memorial Day came.

My wonderful wife, kids and myself, headed off to Mom's/Grandma's house for a cook out. After a wonderful day, I loaded up the broken fridge and headed out. I figure I would take the bad unit to the scrap yard after work on Tuesday. Did you know the scrap yard will PAY you to recycle? If you didn't, check into it. Free money for junk. Me likey.

So, Tuesday I go to work like normal (with the fridge). As soon as I got there, it started. What started you ask? They unstoppable fridge questions. That's what. And every time it went like this...

Them: "Is that a refrigerator in your truck?

Me: "Yup."

Them: "What's up with it?

Me: "It's broken."

And here's the part that gets me.

Them: "What's it doing?"

SERIOUSLY??! The only way I knew to answer that question was...

Me: "It stopped freezing and cooling the food."

For as we all know, THAT'S IT'S JOB!!!!

I must of went through that same scenario about two dozen times. I even had people call me because they drove past my work and saw it in the truck. It was all the same questions. Except as the questions went on, my answers got worse.

I only had it for less than a day. And that was way to long.

Now, I know that new fridges do all sorts of things. But, are you crazy enough to junk a fridge because the night light burnt out? Push it out the door because it stopped crushing ice? Heave it into the yard because the water stopped coming out of the in-door dispenser??

NO!! If you do, stop it! Have you seen the price of new fridges?? Once I had to put a deposit and leave my drivers licence at the counter just to look at one on the showroom floor. When we bought our new fridge a couple years back, the price of my home doubled.

Fridges get junked because they freakin stop working. If the ice maker doesn't work, a fridge has a "problem". It's not junk.

I may seem like I am complaining, but in all truth. Those questions kept me laughing all day.

From the great Muppet creator Jim Henson,

"My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here."

Have a great day.

Steve

Up, Up and Away

I would be an absolute liar if I said that, I, a grown man, do not love the computer animated movies. I am just a big kid at heart and I've got to see these things. I enjoy them as much as my kids. For years, we didn't go to the movies because of the wee ones. We thought we would just save the money and the hassle and wait for them to come out on DVD.

Well, guess what. You miss those too.

For us, going to the theater to see a movie is an event. Renting a movie is what we do when there is nothing else to do. Big difference. In the summer there is always something to do. We loose track of allot of movies. I get discouraged at how many movies that I never got to see. I was waiting for them, for crying out loud. And now they are in the "used to be new, but so many new movies came in that we have to move it to the OLD shelf" section.

They keep making movies, and if your not watching them, they get lost in the dust of old movies.
Don't let that happen with these great family movies. Take your kids to the theater. Matinees are cheaper. Buy candy at the store, it's cheaper. And.... theater butter popcorn RULES! It's an adventure, and allot of fun to watch their faces if you can take your own eyes off the screen.

Which brings me to the real reason for this post.

Disney/Pixar's newest movie "Up" is coming out in a week.

"Up" looks great. I'll give you a quick rundown.

It's about a 78 year old balloon salesman, Carl. Carl and his wife, Ellie, always dreamed about going to this wonderful place called "Paradise Falls" in South America. Well... one thing leads to another and time and Ellie pass with the couple never taking that much sought after trip. As a widower, Carl becomes filled with grief and guilt as he misses his wife so much, he shuts out the world. Being forced to go to a old folks home, Carl has the last laugh and unleashes thousands and thousands of balloons that rip his house right off the foundation. The house and his dreams take to the air. Carl regains some satisfaction.As Carl and his house are airborne and flying along, there is a knock at the door. Carl has an accidental stowaway. It's Russell, an 8 year old kid trying to do one good deed to get his last patch to become a full Wilderness Explorer. Carl isn't happy with the situation, but, he's going to Paradise Falls. Kid or no kid. The adventure ensues.

The rest.... you'll just have to see it for yourself. Opens on Friday, May 29, 2009.

And if I know Disney and Pixar (Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Monsters, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatouille, and WALL-E). "Up" should be a great adventure for all ages. Don't wait for it to come out on DVD. Throw the family in the car, truck, van, train or plane and get to a theater on a Saturday afternoon and treat everybody.

In the words of Walt Disney

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."

Here is a link to the full trailer for "UP"

Have a great day.

Steve

Don't Blink

I love my kids. I wish they would stay little. But, no matter hard I try, they are growing up. The little, cute, and tender babies turn into toddlers then immediately into adults, as far as they are concerned. It seems like one day I was helping Kylie walk and now she wants to be little miss independent. I say, "Tough crap little girl, I enjoy being daddy. And that's what daddies do". I have a funny feeling that she will always be my little girl.

Kids have two types of "growing", growth spurts and mind spurts. Growth spurts kind of suck. It amazes me when you put little Johnny to bed, his jammies fit. Now in the morning he looks like Tom Hanks in Big. It now means that all those outfits you just bought, don't freaking fit anymore.

Now, mind spurts, I like. Mind spurts to me are when they do something today that would of never happened yesterday. I watch it happen to my daughter. Sometimes she just blows me away. Yesterday she was my little girl, today, she is giving me all the "gossip" from her kindergarten class. Why in the heck does kindergarten even have gossip? Why do they need drama? Has this world promoted drama as a part of life? When I went to kindergarten we had story time, play time, nap time, cookie and milk time. All in a half day. I was even so tired from all that, I would go home and take another nap. There was no drama, I didn't even learn how to spell drama until fourth grade. Drama was a word used to describe a play.

Back to the spurts.

My little Steven had a growth spurt mixed with a mind spurt. Yesterday, he was throwing green beans from his highchair, today he sits in a chair alone like a man.

Well... that's if you consider a 21 month old wearing a bib eating a hot dog while wearing a diaper, a man. I knew it was bound to happen. I just wasn't ready for this one. It hit me right between the eyes. He and I were home alone. I was making dinner for us and I said "Time to eat buddy!". He came into the kitchen, climbed into a chair, and gave me the "let's eat" look. I thought, "why not". We tried it, and it worked.

What's next?

"Steven, want to go for a ride?" And he drives???

I told my lovely wife what had happened when she got home. She wasn't pleased. Let's face it. If it was up to her, he would still be sleeping in a bassinet next to the bed with his legs hanging out. She has a TINY thing about letting go.

It's a simple reminder to slow down and take a look around every once in a while. Time stops for no one. Blink and it's gone.

Bill Cosby once said.

"The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now."

Enjoy it while you can. And have a great day.

Steve

Let It Be

Well, after a long thought. I have decided that June has put way too much work on the Monday Swoons for me to take it over. I know, I am her cousin. She is on a break, let it be. Corral the hormones ladies.

And being of the male persuasion, I am not sure that I would be too comfortable in my own skin posting pics of lightly clad men on my blog. After all, my dad (god rest his soul), is watching me at all times. Kind of allot of pressure. And believe me, it's not that I worry dad would think I switched to the other side. He would just tease me for doing a picture blog on men.

After all, how do we know that June won't post a Swoon for the girls?? We don't. I can't read minds, can you? What I should do is a swoon for the guys. Yeah, that's it.

Can you say LEAD BALLOON.

And that is how it would go over. My wife would freaking kill me. She might have a slight problem with me not helping her around the house because I was searching for that perfect bosoms in string bikini online.

So for now, the only "swooning" I am going to do is for my lovely wife.

But in case June doesn't, I give you something to hold you over......

A couple of pics I had laying around.....

It's all I can do to keep both sides happy. Don't think of me as an exhibitionist, think of me as sharing what god gave me, to you. It's not easy being me, but someone has to do it.


And now...

Quotes from the late great George Burns.
George lived just past 100 years old.


"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

"I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked."

Thanks, and have a great day.

Steve